Tribe.net. Local Connections Sophia Bianca http://krsna.tribe.net/thread/07f2a78e-798e-403a-a4bd-fa587f0d9040#114f0b7d-400a-4929-a0da-f5073d0565da 2008-05-21T07:40:50Z 2008-05-21T07:39:45Z

I can relate you what you are saying. I use to be a heroin addict and devottee all at the same time. I actually lived right next door to the temple in my Gurus old ashram. (Bir Krishna Swami). I was 20 years old and desperately searching for help. I was constantly being attacked at night by demon/spirits/entities/ whatever you call them. I had some really terrifying experiences which were induced by my drug addiction. I would get up at 3am to attend the Temple services every morning and pray for Krishna to save me somehow. I cried uncontrolably every time I shot up because I was so ashamed. NOBODY knew about my addiction; SPECIALLY not Guru maharaja. This went on for about a year until I found out that another devottee who lived near temple grounds was also doing heroin secretly and we started shooting up together. This of course made everything worse; the torment was amplifies ten fold. So, one day I came crawling to my guru to save me. You can't even emagine the kind of pain and shame I felt. I was doing heroin in my gurus holy ashram, the same house he lived in for 20 plus years. but he was so compassionate-not angry at all. We had a really long talk, and I cried a lot. He basically told me that I had to go to rehab. Heroin detox can be very severe and should be monitored by a doctor. I did leave the temple in shame, and moved 3,000 mile away to escape the horrible feeling of betraying my guru-but it took another 3 years before I finally got clean. And, another year after that for the "demonic encounters" cease. I have not been in contact with the devotees since then, but I am finally healing and now, when i get spiritually "attacked" i am quickly able to defeat them. The past 10 years have been a spiritual warfare for me. Actually, I'll tell you what finally made me get clean...I was at a "Flower of Life" Seminar for Drunvalo Melchizedek in Seattle. After the speaking engagement I waited in line to meet Drunvalo and to tell him how much I appreciated his books (he writes about sacred geometry among other things). anyways, when I got to the front of the line Drunvalo reached out to give me a hug as he does for everyone-and as soon as he touched the back of my neck Ifelt this tingling sensation and he said "I know that you are tormented. I can see the spirit of addiction attached to your etheric body." With my permission he proceeded to remove the "spirit" in front of at least a hundred witnesses. He pulled this giant black snake out from my solar plexus area. It LITERALLY felt like this snake had was coiled up inside my body, and it was such a cleansing experience, as if I was shedding a hundred pounds in one instant. The "healing" went on for over a half an hour. By the end I was completely freed from my addiction. The next day I didn't even have the usual physical cravings or withdrawal symptoms. To this day I wonder why Krishna didn't heal me when I prayed day after day in the temple help. But then one day I really was healed miraculously, but not in the way I had expected. I think I had many lessons to learn before I could be healed. I now feel I am ready to re-enter the Vaisnava society without shame. I hope to share my story with others. I want people to know that the Lord really does hear our prayers. The main thing is that we pray for Him to give us the wisdom to understand what His will is; to have the clearness of vision to see the lessons that are presented to us in life and to learn from them. My lessons were very hard. I almost died once from overdose, and witnessed friends overdose right before my very eyes, but the Lord spared me so that I may help others. I have a power now over the demons, through the holy names of the Lord and the vibrational frequency of pure love that comes from chanting his holy name -not chanting just with the mouth, but with my entire being. I feel the viration of the sound throughout my body and visualize His name Personified filling the essence of my soul. t that moment all darkess disappears, all demons are vanquished. I'm not just talking metaphor here. I really mean with all my heart and soul, that we have the divine right and power to vanquish all demons that torment us and that bring upon us a spirit of depression. Anyways, I am a poor unworthy devotee, but I am also like so many others who love Krishna but who have terrible addictions. I can testify that the Lord DOES heal us when we ask. Just don't expect Him to do it in the way You want.

Sophia Bianca 2008-05-21T07:39:45Z Makhanchor http://krsna.tribe.net/thread/07f2a78e-798e-403a-a4bd-fa587f0d9040#e491eb20-ef71-42da-9633-2289cdcf3b5d 2008-03-29T15:28:01Z 2008-03-29T15:28:01Z

http://www.dandavats.com/?page_id=1948 This is neat. Krsna conscious utube. I especially like the Prabhupada interviews.

Makhanchor 2008-03-29T15:28:01Z $item.owner.firstName http://krsna.tribe.net/thread/07f2a78e-798e-403a-a4bd-fa587f0d9040#05b489e9-af12-444f-9ce2-2c5927aeed04 2008-03-24T23:14:40Z 2008-03-24T23:14:40Z

We have been told from very bonafide source that association is everything. If we associate with very worldly minded people, we shall be worldly minded. But if we associate with qualified vaisnavas, they can give everything and soon all aparadhas quickly disappear and taste in name comes and also perfection.

$item.owner.firstName 2008-03-24T23:14:40Z Makhanchor http://krsna.tribe.net/thread/07f2a78e-798e-403a-a4bd-fa587f0d9040#19a5d849-eaf9-45f1-96f5-2bd5dfe89609 2008-03-23T17:36:28Z 2008-03-23T17:36:28Z

My advise is to get some good association. Krsna has revealed to you that you need some change, now do it. Things may not work out as you plan, but because you are endeavoring for you spiritual life, Krsna will reciprocate.

Makhanchor 2008-03-23T17:36:28Z sadhusanga http://krsna.tribe.net/thread/07f2a78e-798e-403a-a4bd-fa587f0d9040#9f0b807a-7ade-48e8-b5bc-8812ed78325a 2008-03-21T15:57:30Z 2008-03-21T15:57:30Z

my environment seems to be affecting my process as of now... surrounded by energies that enable my self destructive behaviour patterns... the biggest reason im trying to leave my current environment behind me... that's why im praying to Lord and Guru to raise me up... the spirtual master saves the wayward disciple from his self... that's what im in need of right now...

sadhusanga 2008-03-21T15:57:30Z $item.owner.firstName http://krsna.tribe.net/thread/07f2a78e-798e-403a-a4bd-fa587f0d9040#ce741956-47b1-40a6-bfe9-99052ff1f55c 2008-03-20T22:56:44Z 2008-03-20T22:56:44Z

doesn't matter if you are in the highest material heaven or most degraded material hell, just take association of sad guru and surrender to process of bhakti yoga, and he will quickly lift you to your true constitution.

$item.owner.firstName 2008-03-20T22:56:44Z sadhusanga http://krsna.tribe.net/thread/07f2a78e-798e-403a-a4bd-fa587f0d9040#3c190b40-5cbc-4fee-bf9f-96234c6bd6bb 2008-03-20T00:15:00Z 2008-03-20T00:15:00Z

trouble, i fear. everywhere i turn im starting to see Yamadutas... i know this is because of my degraded consciousness... the question i guess i have is if not a blade of grass moves without the will of Krsna and if a vaishnava doesnt fear going to hell, if somehow or other i AM in hell now, because of past transgressions, i.e. sins, some abominable in all but the most fallens eyes, then shouldnt i just surrender, cut my losses, accept my karmic reward and accept that i deserve punishment, i.e. degraded, demoniac living conditions...??? im very confused just now and getting scared... please help... Hare Krsna, a very fallen jiva

sadhusanga 2008-03-20T00:15:00Z